


Company

by hannahbbug3



Series: Breaking the Ice [2]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Break Up, F/M, Insecurity, Path of Radiance, Soren doesn't understand romance at all, Unsaid feelings, Yule Ball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 03:04:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6266995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahbbug3/pseuds/hannahbbug3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a beauty to the things that made him feel so strongly. This time, they were not alone on the balcony. He could feel the eyes of the others watching them, heard their shocked murmurs.</p><p>"So… you and Lucia?"</p><p>Apparently so.</p><p>Soren-centric, Soren/Lucia</p>
            </blockquote>





	Company

**Author's Note:**

> Part Two of this series that I am relocating from FF.net and dA. I hope you enjoy!

The party had been on just the sort of night that he would've preferred to spend alone. The air had a biting, frosty edge that stabbed the inside of his lungs and coaxed the skin of his arms to prick. Winter felt almost like a friend – one that could be callous and cruel, to be sure, but Soren empathized so much with those traits that she was a friend, nonetheless. Ice hung in the air in small, exhaled clouds as his group passed under an archway and into the glowing interior of the warm castle walls. Awaiting servants offered to take their cloaks as the admittedly ragtag group of mercenaries defrosted in the entryway.

He wondered why anyone would hold a celebration in this season. Snow was beautiful, to the innocent; but he had felt the chill of darkness that winter pulled along with her. In fact, winter hadn’t been his friend for long, only now that he had a home from which he could observe her from indoors. But this fact didn't change what he had seen (and known himself firsthand), and she may have been the source of the ice that had settled in his heart. He despised this season. But there was, after all, a beauty to the things that made him feel so strongly.

And maybe he had been wrong. The more he brooded over the night selected for the party, the more he realized that being alone was the last thing he wanted. The only reason he'd elected to attend the celebration was because the others had talked him into it. And while he did not wish for company, neither did he wish to be alone on a winter night.

Despite this revelation, he had to remind himself more than once that he had come here by choice. That didn’t necessarily mean he was obligated to talk to anyone. After all, he could hardly stand the company he kept on a daily basis – save, of course, for Ike, his one exception to everything. He winced as two sets of legs skipped by him, Mist and Rolf hand in hand, singing "Fa la la la la, la la la la!" He dusted the snow off the hem of his cloak and kept it despite the servant’s waiting hand. If he decided to wander outside, like he had the last time he’d visited, he didn’t want to turn into an icicle. He wandered over towards the corner. From this vantage point, he could see that Mia was attempting to coax a shy Rhys under the mistletoe, and the man was doing a horrible job of pretending to be unaware of her. _Just go on,_ the mage thought, _everyone already knows._

He pulled his cloak a little closer and settled himself against the wall, far thrown from the celebration and food and mistletoe. He reminded himself once again that this was the place he had chosen to be tonight, and that he certainly didn't mind being only an observer. He had taken in everything from the outside his whole life. And tonight was no different than any other night. Why was he having such a hard time convincing himself?

He watched, bemused as his best friend took the Queen's hand and led her to another corner of the room. The two stood close, Ike talking in quick murmurs to her with a gentle smile and Elincia grinning and laughing lightly. Soren, alone across the room, smiled slightly at his friend's merriment. He wasn't a bah-humbug sort; maybe he didn't participate in the festivities, but he didn't make any move to hinder the others.

His crimson eyes slid over to another corner. In passing, he took in the fact that Mia had finally wound up with her arms around the blushing and stammering priest; was she… yes, he saw the three empty glasses at her feet, and the healer was too kind to push her away. The two young carolers had settled down with plates of food, and Boyd had casually stretched his arm around Mist and she didn't mind. It was with a bitter taste in the mage’s mouth that he caught sight of Shinon, who was grudgingly being led around the room by his blond companion towards a cluster of giggling ladies. Titania and Oscar were mingling with the Royal Knights; he could hear half of their conversation from where he was.

"Squinty eyed fiend! I cannot believe this! You've… you've seduced her! How dare you try and … ah!"

The green haired man whom the red knight was screaming at ignored him, and continued his idle chatter with the dark haired bow woman that had caught his eye. He took her hand gently in his, and the boisterous one yelled.

"No! Lady Astrid! He is not a Royal Knight! He is not worthy!"

The mage averted his attention, to try and avoid the ensuing headache that would've come if he had continued watching the knights, back to his best friend. He had led the Queen onto the dance floor for what Soren was sure would be the first of many dances. They were so close…

And yet, the mage remained alone. He had not come for company.

A light hand on his shoulder brought him out of his thoughts. He knew who it belonged to without turning around. It hadn’t been so long ago that he’d opened a conversation with her like this, himself.

"We have to stop meeting like this."

Recognition of the sweet, gentle voice caused the corners of his mouth to turn upwards. His crimson eyes lifted to meet sapphires. She wore a red dress tonight, and it certainly caught his attention. There was no way he could have missed her, unless she purposefully crept up on him. Perhaps she had – it was only fair, considering their last meeting.

"You're wearing the same thing," she chided lightly.

“Ah,” he voiced, looking down at the only pair of dress robes he owned. In truth, he didn’t know why he had even been given these. He was no socialite, after all. Yet maybe Mist had meant them as a joke when she’d given them to the mage the day Crimea had compensated them for their services during the war. She had to know that he wouldn’t spend his share on such frivolous things. At any rate, he found himself grateful. They were coming in handy. "Green, I'm told, is the color of the holiday," he retorted. Then, in a softer tone, "You recognized me this time."

He saw her cheeks darken. "I was expecting you this time."

Silence fell. Their second conversation was easier, but much less comfortable. He knew why.

"You said you'd visit," she started, her eyes downcast.

He had done so, yes. But it had been only a month since their last trip to the citadel, and factoring in the time it took to travel between their base and the capitol, such a venture would only be a hassle. Especially when he knew that they would be returning for this Yuletide celebration. They’d been invited by Elincia before they’d left the coronation ball. "What am I doing now?"

"I thought you meant sooner." Her tone was firm, accusing. He tried to deflect the tension.

"Lucia," he spoke, keeping his voice even and measured. He didn’t want to fight with her. For the first time in many years, he simply wanted company. He’d never say that aloud.

"Soren?"

"Dance with me?" he requested, hoping she would smile at the suggestion. There was music this time. He hoped he wasn’t too late.

"All… all right."

He smiled (you could hardly tell) as she accepted his hand. This time, they were not alone on the balcony. He could feel the eyes of the others watching them, heard their shocked murmurs. To certain people in the crowd, this sight had to be even more shocking than that of Ike and Elincia dancing together. Who would have guessed the mage capable of doing this? Who would have guessed that there would be a woman willing to accept his hand for a turn around the room?

He tried to recollect the feelings that had leapt in his heart a month ago, but they would not come. What had inspired them? Was it simply because she had been interested, when no other woman had ever cared so much? Her gaze hadn’t passed him by. She’d sought him out.

Tonight, she was tense in his arms. He was quiet.

"…you said you'd visit."

His posture tightened, and he tried once again to alter the grim, dispassionate look in her eyes. "I was busy."

"That's not an excuse."

He thought it was, though, so he pressed the reasoning further. "There are eleven people I have to keep track of."

"You could've made time if you wanted to," she accused. He shivered at the ice chilling her tone.

"I tried," he protested feebly. The song had ended, and he attempted to escape back to his corner. She gripped his shoulder tightly, denying him.

"Did you?"

The music didn't start again, but he didn't think she noticed. She was stepping to the rhythm of her angrily beating heart, and she was dragging him along with her.

"Yes," he affirmed earnestly, glancing away. The crowd had stopped moving around them, every eye fixed on the fight. They tangoed around their words as their voices rose.

"Then why didn't you come?"

"I was busy!"

"That's not an excuse!" Her voice rose, and all the eyes that had already been on them widened.

"Lucia! It's over!" the mage hissed. At her startled cry, he realized the implied, but unintended, meaning that those words carried, and he quickly clarified. "The song! The song's over! Let… let go of me!" He yanked his arms from her grip and stumbled a few paces back. When he looked up at her face, it was to find that her expression had frozen over.

Her hand caught him off guard, and the resounding ‘smack’ echoed through the silent chamber. She whirled around and headed for the exit, leaving him alone, stunned, in the middle of the room. The sharp stinging of his cheek and her retreating figure were the only things he could focus upon. The air was still as she broke though the circle gathered around them, disappearing from his view.

Finally, there was movement. From the corner of his eye, he saw a couple part ways. The woman disappeared after her sister, and Ike came over to him. He expected a scolding, but his friend apparently thought that the backhanding had been enough.

"Wh… at?" there was no accusation in the confused tone of his best friend. The mage shifted his weight from foot to foot to fill the span of silence. Only after a long pause did he answer.

"I despise this season." It was a deflection, and Ike knew it.

His friend sighed, simply accepting. "I know."

The two retreated to the corner as the partygoers resumed what they had been doing before. The mage rested himself back on his previously occupied stool. His friend moved off, then returned with mugs of eggnog for them both. Soren took the cup, but did not drink, knowing he had usurped the Queen's place at Ike’s side.

"I apologize for ruining your evening, Ike,” he said, genuine apology in his tone. He didn’t want to ruin anyone’s night, let alone the one his only friend had been enjoying.

"It's fine. You're upset."

"No, I—" he started to deny. He didn’t want Ike worrying about him. Not when the Queen would soon be back and their evening could resume as planned. But the General cut across his words.

"I know you, Soren." There was a pause. "So… you and Lucia?"

The mage sighed. "She appears to think so." And yet, so had he. He wouldn’t confess it aloud, but he had been looking forward to seeing her again. He’d met her first in the war, and she’d struck him even then. He had always prized himself on not allowing distractions into his life, when he knew that his position as a Branded landed him in, at best, shaky territory when it came to job security. Even if he believed in the best of Ike, there was always that creeping fear that one day someone would come along, slap some cultural common sense into the Commander, and Soren would be turned out of the only home he had. Ike had proven himself time and time over and Soren’s fear had diminished over the years, but not disappeared entirely. Even so… he remembered finding Lucia very distracting, indeed.

No one could deny her beauty. Her swordwork was a thing to behold, and Soren admired someone who had mastered their craft. And she was brilliant, as well. Not just anyone could handle being the spymaster for a country during a reign as new as this one, when there were still so many political rivals for Elincia to worry about. But beyond that, beyond her skill and mental acumen… some part of Soren that he hadn’t known existed was quite honestly attracted to her. And certainly her brilliance was a key factor in that, yet when he couldn’t get her face out of his mind, or the fall of her hair, or the color of her eyes… it had been very hard to focus on creating strategies for the army. It was a miracle they’d won any battles in Crimean land at all, after he’d met her.

Of course, none of this would ever be said aloud. He wasn’t certain he even knew the words to tell anyone about these emotions. Call it pride or call it shame – he wasn’t sure which was holding him back. Because it’d be a blow to his pride to admit that something, someone, had broken through his carefully crafted, marble exterior. But he was a little ashamed to confess to himself that Lucia had. The red mark on his cheek left him feeling cracked on the inside. That should not have gotten through to damage him so much.

"Hm," was Ike’s only reply as the two women reemerged from the doorway. One took the hand of boisterous Kieran (to his exuberance, and frankly to the relief of Oscar and Astrid). The other came over.

"Evening, Queen Elincia," the mage spoke. He kept his tone curt and formal, and schooled his features once again towards indifference. They didn’t betray him like he feared they might.

"Any luck?" Ike asked. She shook her head, but directed her answer to the mage.

"I'm sorry, Soren.”

He shook his head in dismissal of the apology. "Never mind. Forget it." A new song started, and the couple standing in front of him shifted. He caught the movement and waved them off. "Go on," he encouraged. “You’ll have a much better time if you’re not standing around me. Forget it.”

They accepted the dismissal, though Ike cast Soren a remorseful look nonetheless, and moved hand in hand to the center of the floor.

He tried to ignore the glimpses of blue and red that he saw, and was convinced of his own wild imagination when he saw their faces close, and closed his eyes as they moved into a corner, the knight's arm around _his_ lady…

But what did he care? He hadn't come for company.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you thought of this fic! The long, still in progress fic that goes along with this prelude and the one before it will be posted soon!


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